It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
