he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
