I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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