My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
