It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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