Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
