I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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