he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
