Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
