Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
