Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
