I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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