i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
