How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
