I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
