my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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