You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
