so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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