do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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