I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
