but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
