ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
