nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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