Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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