I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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