I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
