It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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