maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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