Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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