I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
