i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
