omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
