Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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