He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
