Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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