the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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