Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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