dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
