no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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