So drunk its hurt
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we're making bets on your personal life
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
