We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
