He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
