But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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