I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
