I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
