Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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