i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
