just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
