Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
