I am in a vortex of obligation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
