Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
