i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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