The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Church boner. Awkwardddd
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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