I can't watch pbs sober anymore
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize